NooGut began with a single, undignified question nobody else would ask out loud. It is now a company. The people below are the reason — and, in the founder's case, the entire study cohort.
In 2025, our founder became convinced that human cognition was being throttled by an interface that had not shipped a meaningful update in forty thousand years. His co-founders were, initially, alarmed. Then they saw the modeling.
We closed our Series A in a single meeting. We now operate out of Menlo Park, backed by Sphinxter Capital, with a research organization, a platform, and a clinical program powered — for now — by a cohort of one.
Dropped out of two accelerators to found a third. Previously founded Bolus, an app that reminded you to open other apps (acqui-hired for undisclosed multiples). Believes the mouth is technical debt. Serves as NOOGUT-1's entire study cohort.
PhD in enteric neuroscience from a top-three program by her own ranking methodology. Coined the term “proximity blindness.” Has not published in a peer-reviewed journal, on principle. Refers to the liver as “the incumbent.”
Former competitive faster. Once livestreamed a 30-day dopamine fast that 400,000 people watched, mostly out of concern. Owns the loop. Has not experienced an afternoon slump since Q1 and would like you to know that.
Joined from ultra-luxury hospitality, where she learned that any interaction can be reframed as a protocol. Personally onboards every enterprise operator. Her calendar has no gaps, spiritually or literally.
Committed her own genome to a public blockchain in 2023 “as a joke,” then raised a seed round off it by accident. Believes deletion is a centralized fiction. Cannot, in any meaningful sense, be un-followed.
Has served as CFO of eleven companies — none of which shipped a product, all of which exited. Speaks exclusively in multiples. Refers to money as “dry powder,” even at dinner. The IV is load-bearing.
We are legally and philosophically unable to confirm that Bastian Croft exists. He has attended every board meeting. No photograph has ever resolved. This is considered a feature.
Has not eaten before noon since 2019. Advises the company on temporal optimization and the ethics of feeling this good. Age undisclosed; appears to be winning.
Led NooGut's Series A after a single meeting, which he has described as “the fastest yes of my career and the one I explain the least.” Sits on several boards you have a complicated relationship with. Believes in the founder.
Harden the evidence in parallel — the same way we ship everything.
We do not optimize the gateway. We route around it.
Every new operator expands the cohort. Including you.
It is also a core value, a product spec, and a job title.
Own it. You have, in fact, no other option.
Say nothing. The throughput speaks.
We look for people who are unreasonably certain, quietly disciplined, and comfortable explaining what they do only in the vaguest possible terms. Equity is generous. The dental is confusing.
NooGut is an equal-opportunity optimizer. All cohorts welcome. Especially now — we could use the sample size.