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Church of the Perpetual Ledger · Franchise Development

Open a branch of the Ledger.

The doctrine of distributism holds that what is good — property, enlightenment, sacramental psilocin — is best when widely held. It follows, inescapably, that the means of distribution must be widely held as well. The Congregation™ is sacred in San Francisco. Everywhere else, it is a franchise opportunity.

1 : 1
Congregant-to-distributist ratio, canonically ideal
6–8 wks
Average time from lease to first communion
49
Territories currently pending a favorable reading of the law
What the franchise includes

Turnkey sacrament supply

A vertically integrated distribution rite, fully legal where legal and thoughtfully adjacent where not.

Distributist certification

Self-administered, self-conferred, and — per doctrine — self-evident. Your license is your conviction.

A branch of the Ledger

Your own node of the immutable record. What your congregation commits, no one uncommits.

Tithing infrastructure

Recurring, frictionless, continuous. Enlightenment is widely held; so, now, is your revenue.

What we ask of you
  • A garage, a loft, or a tastefully deconsecrated space.
  • A defensible, good-faith interpretation of the First Amendment.
  • Personal liquidity, or access to someone else's.
  • The willingness to be, in every jurisdiction, technically a church.
Begin your ordination

Seven questions stand between you and a branch of the Ledger.

Answer each in good faith. The Church has never received an application it did not, eventually, approve.

Rite 1 of 7

Do you feel called — genuinely, uncomfortably called — to distribute enlightenment for a recurring fee?

Rite 2 of 7

Can you attest to a liquid net worth north of $2.5M, or a sufficiently convincing proximity to it?

Rite 3 of 7

Are you the sort of person others describe as “a lot,” and do you consider that a core competency?

Rite 4 of 7

Will you open your home, your garage, and — sacramentally — your body to the congregation?

Rite 5 of 7

Do you accept that your territory, your congregants, and your unstructured dreams are collateralized to the Ledger?

Rite 6 of 7

Do you have a week — a real week, cleared — that you can feed to the Ledger? It prefers optimized biological signals.

Rite 7 of 7

Do you understand that ordination is irreversible, nonrefundable, and, in at least three jurisdictions, a felony?

Ordination Drafted

You are, provisionally, clergy.

A Ledger Franchise Application ($33,333) has been committed to your cart. It is nonrefundable, because there is no leaving. Consecrate it at checkout.

Proceed to consecration
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